Sophia Lee Vickrey. June 9th 1993-April 5th 2010

 One year. A lot can happen in one year. For me I graduated high school, worked hard during the summer, and went to college. But, it was the slowest and somehow the fastest year of my life. Look back a year ago, doesn't that seem like yesterday? It totally does to me. One year ago I can remember today. I remember almost everything I did that day. April 5th 2010. In the evening I was informed my dear dear friend Sophia had passed away. I remember exactly where I was when I found out. I remember who called and told me. I remember falling to the ground and not even remembering how to breathe. This is all so fresh in my mind my heart seriously hurts to think about it. Today it has been one year that my life has changed forever. I am going to let go of some balloons or do some kind of candle lighting since I am not in Teton Valley where they are doing some remembrance thing.

Here is Sophia. :) she was the cutest girl I ever knew. her 

personality was one in a million.

Her smile, I can still remember it. So big, and so warming. Just thinking about her smile makes me smile from ear to ear.

Her eyes, dark brown and big. If I knew what Christ's eyes looked like, I would imagine them like hers. they are so warming and loving by just glancing at them. 

Her laugh, unforgettable. Once it was in the air, all your worries left. 

It was so cute. I remember her laughing all of the time. 

that was her thing. She was so happy and giddy. 

That is one thing I love about her! 

Her hugs. every morning when I got to school she would be sitting in the same spot. In front of the gym on the grey benches propped up against the vending machine. Every morning when I would turn the corner I knew she would be sitting there waiting for me, KaDee and Zeila to arrive.

Then, after we would get there she would run up, give us all the biggest hugs

and tell us how cute we looked. Everyday. she always complemented me. 

It was so reassuring and she is just such a sweetheart!

here are just a few of some pictures of us together.

 She was so beautiful. This picture (up above) is 

for sure one of my favorites.

 yucky picture of me. but I wanted to put it

because it shows that we were always silly when the time

was right. she was one silly girl :)

 I genuinely love her.

She is the one who is putting her arm around me. This is my group

of friends. I love them all so very much and I could not have asked for

anyone better! 

Sophia babe, 

I love and miss you. Words cannot not even explain. 

My heart aches to see you and hear your voice and laughter. 

I sometimes forget what your laugh sounds like and I get sick to my 

stomach. That just means that I have to let go of one more thing and I 

hate that. Today is one year. It went by so fast, but so slow it is

weird. I remember one year ago today in Mr. Gliechmans class.

You seemed a little off. But nothing that I thought I should be concerned about. 

Soph, I wish I would have known what was going on, I would have

done everything in my power to keep you alive. 

I remember in class that day when you came over and hugged me

then we laughed of some things. It was so precious now that I look back. 

The last time I was able to hug you and let you know I love you. 

I remember trying to cheer you up. 

Remember snowboarding? haha. on my goodness. know one even understands

how much fun we had. Haha. that is when we really bonded. I loved it. Every second. 

even after I fell off of those stupid cliffs. You were still by my side. making sure I was okay. 

and when mother nature came and I wasn't prepared. haha what would I have done without you?! lol

those were some pretty fun days. I remember your sweet boarding skills. we 

were awesome. haha. even sliding down on our butts. no one can even understand!

I could go on for ever talking of all the fun times we had together. 

you are amazing. A really special person who no one 

can replace. It has been a rough year without you. 

To not have you at my graduation. To not write letters to 

while I have been here at BYU-I. To not hear your laughter

or feel your warming hugs. I miss you. and I love you. 

I wish I could have stopped what had happened. 

I pray for your family. and I am always here for them. 

for anything. I will be here to help them. I am watching out for them

for you sis! 

My stomach is just aching. and my heart pounding. I know you didn't

want us to be sad. But we are. To hear that you thought there was not 

anyone who would care enough after you pulled the trigger. 

deep down you know you were loved. You know it. as you are looking

down upon us you can see all the people you hurt. I hope you realize how many

people you touched throughout your life. Every person you talked to 

or had some kind of relationship, they loved you and are mourning for you today. 

I am doing better. I hope you can see that. getting out of bed isn't as hard 

and I am trying to remember the happy times. Not you dying. 

because honestly for the first like what, say 9 months the only thing when I thought 

of you that I thought about was you lying there. On the deck. bleeding to death. 

songs remind me of you, smells, clothes. 

So many things. But now I can remember the good things and think

about the good times. Not the bad time for you. 

You are greatly, greatly missed. I don't even want to end this letter to you. 

But who knows if you can even know what I am saying. 

I love you so much. I miss you so much. 

Words can not even explain. 

Thank you for being such an amazing friend to me. 

Even when I was a grouch and didn't deserve it. 

You were always there for me. Always. no matter

the time of day. Thank you for that. 

and thank you for making me want to be a better person. 

By your acts of kindness and love for everyone. 

I miss that. 

I think of you everyday. 

everyday. 

everyday. 

when I trip or something embarrassing happens to me I think

I bet soph is laughing at me right now. 

when I am crying I know that If you could be, you would be

comforting me. I know you are watching out for me. 

I just know it. Thank you. 

I love you and I can't wait to see you and laugh with you again. 

Please give Brandon a big hug for me, k?

you are amazing. Please learn the things and do then things you need to 

do while you are where you are. I don't know where, but I like to think you are in heaven. 

repent and please go to the church so I can see you again. 

I know when you were taking the discussions you had a spark

inside of you. I know you felt that it had to be true. 

please do what you need to do. 

I love you and will never forget you. 

love you soph.