change

Change:
verb
 {make or become different : [ trans. ] a proposal to change the law | [ intrans. ] a Virginia creeper just beginning to change from green to gold.
• make or become a different substance entirely; transform : [ trans. ] filters change the ammonia into nitrate [ intrans. ] computer graphics can show cars changing into cheetahs.
• [ intrans. ] alter in terms of : the ferns began to change shape.
• [ intrans. ] (of traffic lights) move from one color of signal to another.
• (of a boy's voice) become deeper with the onset of puberty.
• [ intrans. ] (of the moon) arrive at a fresh phase; become new.
2 [ trans. ] take or use another instead of : she decided to change her name.
• move from one to another : she changed jobs incessantly | change sides.
• exchange; trade : the sun and moon changed places.
• [ intrans. ] move to a different train, airplane, or subway line.
• give up (something) in exchange for something else : we changed the shades for vertical blinds.
• remove (something dirty or faulty) and replace it with another of the same kind : change a light bulb.
• put a clean diaper on (a baby or young child).
• engage a different gear in a motor vehicle : [ trans. ] wait for a gap and then change gears | figurative with business concluded, the convention changes gear and a gigantic circus takes over the town.
• exchange (a sum of money) for the same amount in smaller denominations or in coins, or for different currency.
• [ intrans. ] put different clothes on : he changed for dinner.

noun
1 the act or instance of making or becoming different : the change from a nomadic to an agricultural society | environmental change.
• the substitution of one thing for another : a change of venue.
• an alteration or modification : a change came over Eddie's face.
• a new or refreshingly different experience : couscous makes an interesting change from rice.
• [in sing. ] a clean garment or garments as a replacement for clothes one is wearing : a change of socks.
• ( the change or the change of life) informal menopause.
• the moon's arrival at a fresh phase, typically at the new moon.
• Baseball another term for change-up .
2 coins as opposed to paper currency : a handful of loose change.
• money given in exchange for the same amount in larger denominations.
• money returned to someone as the balance of the amount paid for something : I watched him pocket the change.}

I hate change. Loose change in the bottom of my purse and 

the changes in life.

I am not sure why, 

I feel like they are both necisary, 

just annoying. 

and cruel. 

Change in the bottom of my purse 

spills at the worst times, or clings when I need to be quiet. 

Change in life, 

hurts me. 

I just can't handle it well. 

I get in routine. 

then  right when I get the hang of it, 

bam. 

done. 

click. 

beep.

change. 

right then. It always happens, 

NEVER fails me. 

always there. 

I am very much a routine person. 

when it comes down to brushing my teeth, 

getting a drink of water, and putting lotion on 

before bed. 

Or simply getting dinner served on every ones 

plate before we begin to eat. 

Even the way I fall asleep. 

right side, left side, back. 

I am a routine robot. 

if something is not in routine I can't function. 

so that is why these changes are taking such a big effect on me. 

Today was my last day living in rexi for a while. 

I had no idea I was going to be so sad to leave, 

because frankly, I was so sad to even get there. 

But there I was, 

like in a dramatic movie. 

pulling out of the clark's driveway. 

music in the background. 

tears rolling down my face, 

and me only thinking of the negative. 

it was quite the scene. 

I had no plan of crying. 

in fact, I didn't think I could 

because of my meds 

(that means I must have been really sad)

anyways, the point of the story is that change breaks my routine.

and when my routine is broken it takes a few days to get a new one started.

I am in the middle of changing from one way to another. 

change, you cause so much heart ache. 

why do you have to do this to me?

I guess without you I would probably

be really bored with life. Maybe you could just stop 

coming so frequently. Or whatever.

"Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts."