I walk into the student center, the sun is still high above the clouds leaving me several hours until dark. I search the faces of new college students beginning their journey here on campus, mixed in with the returnees who are getting the hang of this lifestyle. I set sight on my friend and start to make my way to her. The tables are filled with laughter and conversation. Stomachs are being fed with the cafeteria food, or simply a PB&J from home. Some brains are working as hard as they can. Reading and in taking as much as the mouths of the starving students. I take a seat next to Ashlynn. The left side of my body is next to the window. The sun heating my body. My feet dangle in my worn grey shoes as I get adjusted on the tall seats. In just one movement of my head I can see those walking up and down campus, interacting with the opposite sex like its a race to who can be engaged the quickest. After an hour or so of focusing on my computer I look around and see that the atmosphere is changing. More people are surrounding me. Books and computers out. Girls sitting in groups, chatting about their roommates. Guys slouched over laughing at you-tube videos. The table with the love birds. Eight people total, but so close to their lover it is if they are one. The random professors sit and eat their last minute meal before their late afternoon lectures begin. There is a boy talking on the phone loud enough for all to hear. A couple kissing so romantically it is as if you were in the movie theater watching the screen as two people kiss for the first, or last time. Passionately, nothing else around matters. After moments of watching those around me I place my earphones back into my ears and press play on my classical music. I pull out my next subject and begin to study again. The transition begins again. The sun is now making its way down and the sky is becoming dark. The campus lights are just minutes away from turning on and lighting up the sidewalks. The larger room filled with several kinds of tables and chairs beings to empty out, quickly. Like people leaving a bad party, or children escaping after something gets broken. It seems as though within minutes there are more empty chairs than full. The air is chilly and my hands are cold to the touch. There is a random group of guys walking around with a guitar singing at the top of their lungs. They startle many because of the silence that was begin to fall upon us, like leaves in the weeks of September. One moment it is loud and the trees are full. The next thing you know, one by one the leaves are scattered across the earths ground and the students have left the large building in almost pure silence.
I have sat here, and hardly moved. My body glued to this seat and eyes to my schoolwork. But all around me, life has been moving fast. Tables around me full, then empty, then occupied again. hundreds of students have walked past me. Every food imaginable has been consumed within feet of me. Tears have been shed, laughter has been shared, kisses passed, and high fives delivered. Now as I sit here and observe those around me I see a girl who looks as though she has just felt a heart break. Her eyes full of sorrow and her teeth biting her lips as she tries to focus on whatever her computer screen is showing. There are two boys, both wearing white. Sitting up at a table. Talking about a class they have together. There is the kid who could easily mistaken for someone dead. Signs of late nights and hard work written all over his slumped body. People of all different races. Sitting in corners. Earphones in, rejecting those around them.
I sit here, for hours now. Life moving by me. Like waves on the shore, being carved by a large rock. It is exceptional to think that within the hours that my mouth has only spoken a number of words that a small child could say, stories of all kinds were being written. Memories were being made. Twenty years from now, when the kissing couple reminisce on their dating days, and the time they spent studying each other while those around them were studying books, I will be a part of that memory. Not once did we make eye contact and no words were exchanged. But I was there to help fill the room of eager kids, making their way to becoming a successful adult. 50 years from now I could be a witness of the roommates who were laughing together. I witnessed the friendship become even stronger as they shared stories and smiles with each other. If someone gets some sort of food sickness from the food they consumed while in the same area as me, I was able to see them blindly ruin their next few days. I may not have been any important part of anyone's story around me. But I was there. Noticed or not. It makes me wonder, who is sitting in the corner witnessing the memories I will have years down the road. Did they experience laughter as they saw me struggle to carry all of my books in my two bags, or trip over my shoes or pants every few steps while watching a cute boy walk by? Did they feel my sorrow as my eyes spoke for my heart when I was walking through the store, searching for something to cure the pain. Who is around when I have my times of distress? What are they thinking? How will I impact them, and will I become part of their memories? Watching me, reminding them of what not to do in a situation.
What kind of impact do I have on those around me? Maybe by many they don't even see that I am there. Blocking everything out of view besides their text message from their newly discovered crush. Or the people who just see me as someone sitting at a chair, making a table full, and forcing them to look harder for somewhere to make themselves comfortable. Then there are the people, like me who observe those around them. What are the thinking of me? What story or background do they think I have? I could only hope for the best. I could only hope that my happiness radiates through my skin and that people can sense that I just want to have fun. I am going to walk a little taller, smile more often, and let my true self shine. Because I may be in someones greatest memory. I may be observed from someone struggling to find happiness. Someone may look at me and realize something in their life. So many details. And maybe this theory I have is just something that I have made up in my head. But as life moves on around me, I want to be remembered.
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